Like many bachelors, I observe strict dietary rules for the sake of my health; and I try, whenever possible, to restrict my consumption to the basic food groups so amenable to one’s health: cake, cheese, beer, and coffee. Since this is the case, the admission to my larder of so exotic a foodstuff as the pecan filled me with some alarm and trepidation. My mind has been put somewhat at ease, however, by the realization that pecans are actually a variety of beer. Dark, rich and hard to open. But, luckily, I do have a bottle opener near to hand which most excellently opens pecans; or perhaps it’s a pecan opener which most excellently uncaps bottles.
